Thoughts on Hustle and Rest
Y’all, the last few months have been a real doozy and it somehow feels like this year both just started and also that it should already be July . . . can anyone relate? That being said, it feels like life has sped by lately, and the last couple of weeks had me both reflecting on and digging into the concept of “hustle” and the simultaneous necessity for rest.
If you’ve been around for a little bit, you have probably heard (or read) parts of my story, namely that I spent two years working a fairly insane number of hours and balancing multiple jobs in order to get out of debt, after which I spent another 10+ months working just as much so that I could save up for my first Europe trip. Those few years comprised what was easily one of the most exhausting seasons I’ve walked through in my thirty years of life, but I also know that, without it, I wouldn’t have been able to do what I ended up doing — living as a digital nomad for almost two years — nor would I find myself embracing the life that I am currently leading: as a freelancer who’s set down some roots but continues to have the freedom to travel wherever and whenever. Those years, however, became a season of true hustle in which I searched high and low for any and every possible way to make some extra cash to either throw at debt or save for traveling. Ask any of the people who found themselves in my vicinity during those few years and they can likely attest: it was scrappiness at its finest.
Those years spent intentionally hustling were also really HARD. I was motivated by the end goals I was working toward, for sure, but the sacrifices that were made in the process were great — think very sparse social life, less money for fun spending, and almost / actually no dating. To make a long story short, I can now in hindsight say that I was living as a shell of myself during that time, As a result of “the hustle,” I was mentally, physically, and emotionally drained, and so even when I made the rare appearance somewhere, it was really as though I were only half there. Body? Yes, that was present. But everything else? It was a toss-up, at best. It was rough. There were also a few instances of complete burn out in that season, during which I either retreated into isolation, imagining no one else could understand the stress I was under (as self-inflicted as it may have been), or I, you know, kind of blew up. And as I’m sure you can imagine, both of these scenarios only exacerbated the problem. It / I was a mess.
It was in 2018 while I was traveling Europe that I first realized and admitted just how unsustainable “the hustle” really is. After having spent those few years living in the thick of it — no matter how good my motivations may have been — I was absolutely exhausted. So at one point during that trip, I recognized that the culturally hot word “hustle” might need a makeover . . . or at least it did in my mind because as noble as any of my efforts may have felt, hustling the way that I did was actually just a mother-effing nightmare. I didn’t acknowledge the moments in which I should have known I needed to say no, to take a break, or to just. do. nothing.
So back to Europe. In the first few months of that first trip, during which I was only working 5 or so hours a week — pretty much solely during the fringe hours late at night — that I learned something that seemed so revolutionary at the time: that rest is not a byproduct of work (or the hustle), but rather that rest is the best preparation FOR the work. Granted, I was in this strange, highly concentrated version of resting while on a trip like that, but I was seeing that the view I had of rest and the residual lack of prioritizing it was because I didn’t understand it’s real purpose: to ground me and to set me up to be filled up for the next round of “busy-ness.” I learned it, yes. I knew rest needed to be a priority. But I didn’t necessarily have the tools or the space to put it into practice.
Then I kept traveling. And with that, I found myself working more than ever while still trying to be a tourist, which came with a new set of challenges. My second trip to Europe proved more challenging and less “vacation-y” than the first because I was working part-time and trying to balance travel days, exploring new cities, and starting the process of writing a book. I’ll cut to the chase here: I didn’t really rest. I had some bits of time where I settled in and enjoyed where I was, but it wasn’t true rest… not in the way that it might set me up to be busy again.
And now? Full-time freelance and working from home full-time is a new beast. But that also means that I write from home, I sleep at home, I entertain from home… and doing all of those things from one place can be challenging when it comes to separating the work (or the hustle) from rest. But slowly and surely, I am learning. I am learning to get out of my house and go to coffee shops for a few hours of concentrated productivity. Simultaneously, I am learning when to intentionally take time off — or sabbath — and when to shut my laptop in favor of relationships or other hobbies. And I am learning to recognize the signs of abnormal stress and potential future burnout and to step away for a bit when I can sense either of those on the horizon. Is it always easy? As is true with most good things, no, it’s not.
So what are some of the key things I’ve learned in these weird and very different seasons of busyness — from working 70+ hours a week to traveling full-time, to now residing somewhere in between?
Rest is not a reward for work, but the training ground for the work that lies ahead
When things are only draining, they’re not worth giving your all to, be it a job, a relationship, etc.
Find what you love, and either find a job that pays you to do that or align yourself with a job that gives you the time and space to do that on the side
As with all things, we prioritize what’s important to us, which means we need to prioritize rest in all seasons
Q&A
What advice do you have for those of us who find ourselves in a season of hustle?
I mentioned this earlier, but I think one of the most important things is recognizing the signs of abnormal stress or potential burnout. I think I knew that things weren’t okay when I was in the midst of my craziest hustle season, but I just didn’t do anything about it. It was as if my capacities couldn’t handle it. So be aware: know your normal state of emotional health, and if/when you see things dip or go higher than you’re used to, recognize it, and take a step back. if there are ways you can scale back, even just in small ways, do it. if you’re in a spot where scaling back isn’t possible, find your fringe hours. Find those bits of time in the morning, in the car, late in the evenings, etc. where you can relieve stress and rest. To sum it up: recognize stress signals and find pockets of time to rest.
I hate my job but have to work/make money — what should I do?
First things first: make an inventory of the things that you love and are passionate about and the skills and gifts that you possess. Document it! And on the flip side, make a list of the things you don’t love, don’t enjoy, or aren’t necessarily good at. Invite a friend or loved one into this process, and when you’re done, I’d bet you’ll be able to figure out a job, side job, or hobby that suits your unique skills and passions. You ultimately get to decide if that is something you want to have to help you make money. To sum it up: figure out what you love doing, and maybe how you can make money doing that
What are some good ways to rest when I’m in a busy season?
I repeat,: fringe hours. Look for bits of time throughout your days, week, and month where you can prioritize some Sabbath-like activities. Think: reading, writing, making art, cooking, going for a run, etc. Finding the things that fill you is really important, so figure out those things and prioritize time to do them so that you’re as filled up as possible, even when you’re busy. I recommend intentionally carving out some time each week to focus on the things that bring you joy, fulfillment, and a sense of peace. To sum it up: get intentional with your fringe hours by finding ways to do things that fill you up, no matter how small.
How can I learn the balance of hustle & rest?
I’m definitely still learning, but what I have learned is that we have to prioritize rest in the midst of the hustle, even if it’s just in small ways. Looking for and intentionally setting apart time to do little things each day can set you up to go back into the busyness more prepared to take it on. Making goals can also be really helpful: little goals that lead to a “restful” reward, i.e. a weekend off, a new book, or anything that helps you feel more grounded and/or present in your current season. To sum it up: prioritize the things that bring you rest, find the fringe hours, and set some goals.
All I know for sure is that the hustle — no matter the end goals — is not really a sustainable way to live, but that when we choose to prioritize real and life-giving rest in any and all seasons (read: not “self-care”), the hustle / work / busyness becomes a lot less draining and a lot more purposeful. So choose to rest. See it as the best spot to be filled up in order to pour out. Then get to work, give what you’ve got, and do it all over again.
This post compliments a Wild Hearts podcast episode, which you can listen to here:
